Now, the only thing I've ever purchased at Panera Bread was a cinnamon roll and a green apple Jones Soda, so please do not allow me to review the food. It would be like listening to a Nickelback album to review a Vilvaldi record. I do enjoy the atmosphere of the place though. It's like Starbucks for bread-stuffs. Take that analogy with a gram of yeast. Get it? It's a bread store...
Anyway, onto the main point. The green apple Jones Soda prompted my pee pocket to pique my pursuit of peeing. The classically-tinged jazz piano music that permeated the main rooms of Panera Bread followed into the bathroom portion. The first thing that caught my eye was the color scheme of the room. It was similar to a fun business card or environment oriented blog. I just notice these things. The stall itself was quite nice as well. It was quite roomy for my average sized body. Two things really put me over the edge during my stay in this bathroom.
- The classical jazz began to overwhelm me as a urinated. I was the only occupant of the bathroom making the music the only audible sound besides my own bodily waterfall. It began to feel as if the music was there to cheer on my bladder, or as if what I was doing was completely extraordinary. I've never had such a soundtrack to simply getting rid of wastes. I guess Panera wants us to feel unique and important everywhere we are. Thank you Panera Bread.
- I was once on a bus in Ocean City, Maryland, where written on a bus wall in thick Sharpie were the words "El Futuro es hoy!!" With my superior decoding skills, I said out loud "The future is now." El Futuro es hoy. I held that sentence within me for a few years now, but it never came into effect. I now know perfectly well what that phrase means. As I finished my business and backed up to zip up my pants, the toilet flushed out of nowhere. Not only did I not have to dirty my hands flushing a toilet, but I could remain lazy in knowing I didn't have to. The future really is now.