Texas Roadhouse

There is only so much country lemonade a guy can handle before it starts coming out of a different end, same color. This is why restaurants tend to courteously provide a bathroom for the well-being of those who are patrons of their fine and respected establishments. Notwithstanding their decent food, I'm not sure Texas Roadhouse is either of two mentioned once their bathroom comes into play.

I understand that the restaurant is supposed to have a southern, specifically Texas feeling to it, as evidenced by the dirty peanut-shell laden cement floor. You're not helping us Pennsylvanian's with our views on Texas...I mean we're not supposed to believe that everyone has dirty peanut floors in Texas, right? Do they? I've never been there. Everything is bigger in Texas right? Does that mean that their messes on the floor are too?

I got sick of debating this in my head and continued on to bust through the bathroom doors to do what I do best. The following moments which included the door opening and the movement of my feet into the room were best described as insulting to my being. I was unaware that horse stables qualified as bathrooms these days. I must be too caught up in the future with Panera Bread's bathrooms. My shoes, which are highly superior to this loathsome cave of a bathroom, stepped down with fervor only to be fed back with a highly onomatopoeic sound of "Spplllshhhhht!" Not only do I never want to hear this sound when taking my steps anywhere, I especially don't want to hear it when walking into a bathroom when my frame of mind is nothing but "Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee". Luckily, it wasn't the product of some unfortunate soul's loose bowels, but water. Water laying in a stagnant puddle of despair in the middle of the bathroom next to an evidently unqualified drain. Although, the lighting in the bathroom was severely lacking. I presume this is a futile attempt to hide it's disgrace. Due to this factor, the water could have been anything in liquid form. Another man's urine possibly? If that is the case, bravo to you sir, bravo to you. I almost had the same mindset of peeing down the hole in the floor but I kept my composure and followed into the stall. I won't get into the quality of the stall because I'm sure you can infer its awfulness by now. Although I will say one thing about the stall. Peanut shells. STILL. I shook 1.5 times, zipped and got out of there. (Stepping in the mystery puddle again. It's unavoidable.)

The Texas Roadhouse in Dickson City, Pennsylvania gets 1.5/5.0 shakes.


AndyB April 2, 2011 at 4:21 PM  

I'll admit I almost just walked out at the point of me stepping in the puddle. Pretty good food. Awful place for it to come back out.

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